Episode 34 -The Secrets of Happiness, They aren't Telling You

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She got the job.

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The one she'd studied for qualified for sacrificed time with her children

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full invested heavily for yay.

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Yet the.

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Yay was brief.

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Two months in and she realized it.

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Wasn't how she'd pictured it.

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She wasn't feeling how she wanted to feel.

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She blamed herself.

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She should be happy.

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After all she got the job, the dream job, the hairy, scary goal job.

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Yay.

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Have you ever had the experience in your life where you've worked

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really hard and made the sacrifices?

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Don't all of the things got the prize celebrated with friends and

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bubbles, and then it's been a bit of a disappointment, a dumped squared.

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Uh, fact, you might have felt a bit ashamed to admit it and kept your

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disappointment hidden for months.

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Yes.

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Decades even.

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And worse still.

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This could be playing out in many areas of our lives, work

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relationships, social lives.

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We may have trapped ourselves and settle land.

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And this week's episode of the choosing happy podcast.

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We explore beliefs, values, expectations, and some truths about happiness.

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That if we just allowed ourselves to acknowledge, we could make

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life a lot easier for ourselves.

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All of this and more in this week's choosing happy podcast.

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Hello, and welcome to the choosing happy podcast.

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I'm Heather masters.

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And in this week's episode, I'm going deep on the misconceptions of happiness.

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What exactly is happiness?

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And just the pursuit of happiness really lead us to happiness.

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Here are some questions to ask yourself:

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Will you be happy when you solve all of your problems?

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Is the pursuit.

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Of meaning more important than happiness.

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Is happiness, the real end results.

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Or is the pursuit where happiness lies.

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Will you be able to choose happiness when you're in the midst of a

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storm that life has thrown at you?

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For there's usually many in a lifetime.

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Some Morpheus and others.

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Will you be resilient enough to hold a level of happiness?

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Will you allow yourself to be happy, give yourself permission to be happy,

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allow happiness to be your set point.

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Even when things are dire.

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And I don't mean pretend happy or frivolity.

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It's the ability to be childlike rather than childish to see the

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wonder, even in the darkness.

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And the world of reaching for perfect.

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And following trends that are set out for us using the media

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and government narrative.

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We can overlook our ability to choose what is truly for us.

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To forget the notion of selfishness and to indulge ourselves in our true nature.

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To sit and the energy of our beingness and notice that amongst

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the horrors and the false, this.

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The lies and the terror, the world would have a C.

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There is beauty piece.

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Surprise wonder.

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Curiosity and magic right outside our doors.

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If we look close enough.

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The resilient flower that bursts through the concrete.

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The solitary bird.

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That sings at Dawn.

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So his happiness about success and achieving.

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Or is it about.

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Being.

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Is it a state?

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Is it about appreciating the journey and acknowledging that the journey will

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throw us challenges and hard stuff.

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Yeah, recognizing it.

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Isn't the struggles and the resistance where the magic is made.

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Where the lead is changed to gold.

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We're growth takes place where memories are made and where we astound

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ourselves with what we can achieve and how powerful we really are.

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It to seize.

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This is to recognize that happiness is not something we strive for.

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But as something to choose in the harshness of our journey.

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Not just to lighten the load.

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But to raise our energy.

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Our spirits Our vibration, our strengths.

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I sense, we need this more now than ever.

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As we're in the midst of unique and unprecedented times.

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When resilience and the ability to see the good, the positive.

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The end goals.

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While being present to the magic of the moment.

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Amidst.

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Drama and horror.

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We'll be the key.

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For God's smiling gladiators.

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We must stand and maintain our light.

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And sense of love and our power.

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No matter what happens.

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Jordon Peterson's definition of happiness.

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Happiness.

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It's the freedom from fear, stress, and anxiety.

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Yeah, right now, we are seemingly trapped in a world

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which strives by promoting fear.

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How can you eliminate fear in your life?

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Mainly switching off the mainstream media and the news and choosing really

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choosing where you put your focus.

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Can I make a massive difference to how much happiness you experience in your day?

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I found that I've had an almost controlled guilt that if I'm not feeling worried

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or stress than I'm not really living.

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And I take this back to something.

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My father said to me, when I really first experienced stress.

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At work.

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He said that I was now a true adults.

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Because I was experiencing stress and I've been stressed ever since.

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Trying to live up to being a true adults.

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It's only recently that I've had some huge realizations around happiness and

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also about stress, anxiety, and fear.

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Fear is dished out daily.

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Your governments.

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The organizations in the world.

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Want to keep us in fear.

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If we're in fear.

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We buy.

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We purchase.

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We try to protect ourselves with the products they sell us that

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tell us that we're going to be.

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Healthier.

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We're going to be safer.

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We're going to be happier.

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All of this.

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Takes away from the powerful.

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Beings we are.

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That we have our own set points, our own definitions of happiness.

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We know how to be happy.

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When we step away from the fear.

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When we step away from the shirts and the Kurds.

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When we step away from the false narratives that we even tell ourselves.

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We have an opportunity.

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To be happy.

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It's a meaningful life.

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Something better to strive for then a happy life.

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After experiencing grief and depression.

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At a number of times when things have changed drastically in my life.

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One of the things that I know that's true for me.

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Is.

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The taking part.

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The showing up.

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The serving other people, the stepping outside.

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The keeping moving.

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The finding the meaning in each day, each hour, each moment.

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That's part of what's really helped me grow and build my resilience in my life.

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I think.

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Parts.

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Of the reason.

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We're unhappy in general, . Is that we don't take the time to work

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out what we really want anyway.

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What kind of conditioned to want the things.

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And even when we don't want the things and we want to move somewhere different.

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It's not quite what we expect . The thing is you take yourself with you.

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And I personally believe.

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So you can't be happy anywhere.

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Until you've shifted and grown within yourself and works out

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what happiness is for you.

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And that you are the creator of your reality.

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I think happiness can be in any moment.

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If we choose it.

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And I'm not saying that we choose it a hundred percent of the time.

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I don't think that.

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Can be true.

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We all have moments of darkness, of sadness, of anger.

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But it's how we deal with them.

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That really can impact.

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How we show up and and whether we choose.

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A higher response.

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And personality questionnaires and the neuro-linguistic programming.

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We find out what our values are by asking what's important to us.

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Uh, values.

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Aren't always obvious.

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They're quite unconscious.

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So where you think.

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Is important to you, what you think you want in your life.

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That's going to make you happy.

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May not be that at all.

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And there's probably patterns in your life where you think you can be happy.

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And you go for the same thing.

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And you can create a pattern of it, but then.

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You leave and you blame.

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The circumstances you blame the employer, you blame the partner.

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But if you look back at the pattern.

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It might not be that at all.

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It might.

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But it might not be that at all.

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The meta-programs in neuro-linguistic programming.

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Or even deeper.

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Unconscious conditions that we have for ourselves.

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That are specific to a unique personality and I need unique

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perspective on the world.

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So for instance, one of the meta-programs that I know I have is that.

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I'm a differences person.

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There's differences in sameness.

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Sameness.

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Obviously our people who want everything to remain the same.

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And because of that, they struggle with change.

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Now I'm quite a differences person.

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So I became a consultant quite early in my career because.

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My role would change.

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My job changed.

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It's one of the things I really liked about being in technology in it is that

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I was working on different projects.

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So I could be really content.

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Because the work changed on a regular basis.

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When I took admin jobs later in life.

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I really struggled with those because things were.

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Quite repetitive.

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Pretty much the same.

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And even working from home, I find I'm changing the furniture around.

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Two or three times a year.

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Or finding other places to work because the environment is important

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and changing that around helps.

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I keep my differences condition happy.

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And it doesn't have to be something massive.

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Your meta-programs and.

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Your values are really quite crucial to your happiness.

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To what you believe.

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It's.

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To fulfilling your needs at an unconscious level.

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If your top four values aren't met, you will likely . Leave or do something.

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To get those values met.

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So for instance, If being with your family is.

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Really important to you and it's in your top four.

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Values.

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Working overtime working.

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We cans.

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Committing to a job that demands a lot of you.

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It's going to make you really pretty unhappy because it's against.

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One of your core values.

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One of the things about money.

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Some entrepreneurs can.

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with their relationship with money.

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And we can put it down to a money mindset, your beliefs about money, but

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your values are deeper than your beliefs.

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And if money isn't in your top eight values.

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As an entrepreneur or business owner.

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You're likely to struggle if there are so many things that are more

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important to your happiness than money.

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You're probably not going to.

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Want to sell so much.

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So what's important to you and what your meta-programs are, can make a huge impact.

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On whether you are happy on that.

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This podcast is called, choosing happy.

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It's easier to choose happy.

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If you're aware of what your meta-programs are.

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And what your values are.

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Can you change your values?

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Yes, you can.

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that comes with a caveat of, if it's not really true for you.

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At a deep, deep level.

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they could Change back again.

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Understanding.

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A little bit about yourself.

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Understanding what's made you happy in the past.

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Understanding what's important to you.

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Is really crucial.

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To understanding.

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Your happiness criteria You can also work out what you really want.

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Using intuitive.

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Coaching.

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And meditation.

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This year I completed the search costs and William White A series of natural success.

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And using intuition.

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To work out.

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What you really truly wants.

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Is.

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Amazingly powerful.

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Because in doing that.

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Your.

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Uncovering your heart's desire.

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You're uncovering a world and a life where you will be truly happy.

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And the focus of William's work is about focusing on the end results.

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And at the same time being present.

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Being happy with not knowing.

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Being in the moment, just taking the next step that you've intuited.

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It's about embracing the journey and face of adversity.

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It's about embracing the tension and recognizing that

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the tension, the hard stuff.

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Is there to help you grow?

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As I said earlier, it's where lattice changed into gold.

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The ability to sit with the tension.

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And absolutely know that you're going to reach your end results anyway.

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And to take the action.

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The one step.

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That's.

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You intuited to take today.

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Without knowing.

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While being happy, not knowing.

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What's going to happen.

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When you take that step.

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I suppose ultimately.

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It's about a connection to source.

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Happiness is the ability to let go of anxiety, stress, and fear.

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Most often.

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We do this.

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When we align with spirit, when we align with a God.

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When we align with something greater than us.

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In a way.

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That we feel so loved.

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Supported.

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And comforted.

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That the universe is working for us, not against us.

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That everything that's thrown in our pass.

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It's a lesser, an opportunity to grow beyond where we were before.

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It's easy in the pursuit of happiness To focus our energy.

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On where it's not working out.

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Unfortunately, that tends to.

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Bring The same results of things not working out.

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Yeah.

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And if we look each day, And I acknowledge the tiny things.

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Yes, my PC.

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Connected to the internet today.

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Yes.

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I had a really fantastic walk with my dogs today.

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I had a small win with the email I sent.

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An old friend connected with me.

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All the small things.

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My coffee was perfect today.

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if we acknowledge those, if we focus on those.

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We're thankful for those.

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They help us.

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To create more, to create bigger.

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To focus on a heart's desire.

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It sounds simple to focus on your heart's desire.

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In my experience, my heart's desires.

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Something completely different from anything I would

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have sought up for myself.

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And that's quite scary in itself.

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It's about embracing it.

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And going for anyway.

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Trusting your intuition trusting that higher knowing.

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That's why it becomes a spiritual experience to really live life.

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As your true nature.

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To really live life.

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On purpose.

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Your government.

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Big tech.

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' cause cops.

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Don't want you to live on purpose.

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Because he probably wouldn't choose their services.

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You've probably wouldn't choose their conditions.

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The power.

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Of happiness.

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Of contentment.

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Lies.

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In the spiritual path of using your inner power, your greatness, your

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connection to source your creator.

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To decide.

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What happiness is for you.

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And also how to.

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Manifest that in your life.

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As a simple start.

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One of the things.

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I know that I forget to do.

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Is to define.

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What happiness is for me.

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And how will I know when I am happy.

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Uh, to really get in touch with that.

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Because happiness is a feeling.

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And a feeling is a choice.

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Or is it a state?

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What is it for you?

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How do you know, you're happy?

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How do you know it'll last long term?

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It's like a muscle, all of this.

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Intuition is like a muscle.

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It takes practice.

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It takes awareness.

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It takes.

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Commitment.

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It takes desire.

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Embrace the journey.

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Even in the face of adversity.

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Build your strength and resilience by focusing.

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On, what do you want?

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Even in the face of massive change?

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Even in the face of tension.

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Of things that look against you.

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Sometimes the very thing we think is against us.

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It's pointing us.

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Toward what we want.

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Prioritize self care activities.

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Becoming.

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Intuitively guided.

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Involves embracing the work.

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involves embracing.

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Your own unconscious.

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that takes self care.

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Cutting out alcohol.

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Drinking more water.

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Watching what you're putting into your body.

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Because we're all energy.

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You're picking up on energy when you Intuit.

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You silence the mind chatter.

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When you decrease the amount of chemicals you're putting into your

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body, the amount of stimulants.

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It's taken me.

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A long time to get to where I am.

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I naturally have.

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Uh, very chatty mind, very noisy minds.

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Very noisy ego.

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He doesn't want me to succeed.

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He doesn't want me to tune in.

Heather: 00:19:53

All of this as well is about raising your consciousness.

Heather: 00:19:56

We're raising your energy.

Heather: 00:19:58

We manifest what we want by focusing on what we want, but at

Heather: 00:20:02

the same time, holding that energy.

Heather: 00:20:05

Really tuning into it to the energy of it is what we want.

Heather: 00:20:10

So if we want better house on a beach, we really have to step into it and to feel it

Heather: 00:20:15

and to feel what the essence is of what.

Heather: 00:20:19

We will be given.

Heather: 00:20:20

To what does it give you?

Heather: 00:20:22

Why is it important?

Heather: 00:20:24

Really focus in on.

Heather: 00:20:27

The essence of that, the energy of it.

Heather: 00:20:32

The pursuit of happiness for me, isn't a destination.

Heather: 00:20:36

It's something.

Heather: 00:20:37

That I consciously.

Heather: 00:20:38

Evaluate each day.

Heather: 00:20:40

Am I happy in this moment.

Heather: 00:20:43

What could I change?

Heather: 00:20:45

Where's my focus.

Heather: 00:20:47

What can I appreciate to shift the energy?

Heather: 00:20:51

Because it's the energy of peace serenity.

Heather: 00:20:54

I love.

Heather: 00:20:55

That creates the space for true happiness in my world.

Heather: 00:21:00

Thank you for listening.

Heather: 00:21:02

I hope you've gathered even a.

Heather: 00:21:04

Small piece of information that has helped you today.

Heather: 00:21:09

Please do.

Heather: 00:21:10

Like, and subscribe and.

Heather: 00:21:13

Share a review.

Heather: 00:21:14

It would really help the podcast and help me.

Heather: 00:21:18

Keep going.

Heather: 00:21:21

Thank you again for listening.

Heather: 00:21:22

I do appreciate your time.

Heather: 00:21:25

I'm Heather masters.