Episode 29 - Chatting with Sue Knight
If you would like to explore a new perspective on life and the world and how we shape our reality, join me in this fascinating interview with Sue Knight.
Sue is an award winning Master Trainer of NLP and author of many books including NLP at Work, the 4th version is now available on Audible, read by Sue.
I find her way of being and training so skillful and masterful, she is an exemplar not only of NLP but of resilience and a way of approaching the world with curiosity and admiration.
- Who is Sue?
- What is the difference that makes the difference about her experience of NLP?
- And how ca this help you?
These questions and more are answered in today's episode of the Choosing Happy Podcast.
I do hope you find this episode useful. Please share if you think this can help someone you know.
Links:
Sue Knight:
https://sueknight.com/
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/sue.knight
https://www.facebook.com/sueknightNLPatWork
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/sueknightnlpatwork/
https://www.instagram.com/nlpatwork/
LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sueknightnlp/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sueknightnlp/#
Choosing Happy
www.choosinghappypodcast.com
www.choosinghappy.co.uk/community
www.twitter.com/nlpwarrior
https://www.facebook.com/choosinghappypodcast
https://www.instagram.com/hvmasters/
Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/choosing-happy-1878162/episodes
What you can do now...
Join the wait list for the new community at www.choosinghappy.co.uk/community
Sign up for my Awakened Entrepreneurs Free Video Series. https://www.takingyourbusinessonline.com/the-awakened-entrepreneur
Sign up for my two part Awakened Entrepreneur Mastermind on exploring the possibilities for the future of business, systems, communities etc. https://wnee49i3.mykajabi.com/offers/FjECzozC/checkout
Sign up for the Niche Magic Masterclass https://www.takingyourbusinessonline.com/offers/XVhr2XaF/checkout
Drop me a line with any feedback you may have at heather@choosinghappy.co.uk
Transcript
In this episode of the choosing happy podcast, I get to speak to Sue
Speaker:Knight, author and master NLP trainer.
Speaker:She's an amazing lady with lots to share.
Speaker:All of her details and links are in the show notes.
Speaker:Come join me in this week's choosing happy podcast
Speaker:Welcome to episode 29 of the choosing happy podcast.
Speaker:I'm Heather masters.
Speaker:And today I'm delighted to have the opportunity to chat with Sue night,
Speaker:as well as being an award-winning master trainer, an LP and a true
Speaker:example of living your teaching.
Speaker:So there was also an author of several books on and out pay, including
Speaker:NLP at work, which has recently been released on audio read by Sue
Speaker:and that.
Speaker:So a number of years ago, and was immediately struck by her
Speaker:exquisite mastery of NLP coaching and provocative coaching.
Speaker:What I noticed the most is her ability to identify beliefs and
Speaker:patterns from the short conversations she has with her students.
Speaker:I've had the good fortune to interview her before, and I am really delighted
Speaker:to have the opportunity today.
Speaker:Welcome.
Speaker:Thank you very much.
Speaker:Um, we've spent time together in person as well, which is
Speaker:that the rare thing these days?
Speaker:Um,
Speaker:my voice has been croaky, so just to keep it going, but, okay.
Speaker:So it'll be gone in a minute, but just help me.
Speaker:And can you tell us more about yourself, what you do, who
Speaker:you help and how you help?
Speaker:Um, what do I do?
Speaker:What do I do?
Speaker:Basically?
Speaker:I mainly run what I call open program.
Speaker:So where people enroll individually, usually on their own behalf.
Speaker:And I have done those in many cases.
Speaker:Locations around the world.
Speaker:The last two years I will be online.
Speaker:I'm currently India.
Speaker:So it's the first time I've traveled somewhere else, even here, but going
Speaker:to be running programs online from here, but we will have some people
Speaker:at person set up the first time.
Speaker:Um, so I run programs in NLP, which is what he said in the introduction,
Speaker:your linguistic programming.
Speaker:And I do coaching, um, um, writing and yes recently recorded
Speaker:the audio book of my book
Speaker:on bicycle and I cook and I live in France and, uh, grandma.
Speaker:Um, so somebody said the hope, you know, I'm in quorum, Gina, because
Speaker:ragging India I'm fully vaccinate.
Speaker:Um, but everybody has to quarantine seven days.
Speaker:If you get the test, it's 14, if you don't quarantine seven days,
Speaker:people are hoping up boarding party.
Speaker:I mean, my days are full with writing and reading content unlike today.
Speaker:So I'm in a beautiful location, overlooking the backward.
Speaker:I could stay in quarantine forever, to be honest.
Speaker:It's just, yeah.
Speaker:I remember India being very, I was going to say interesting.
Speaker:Interesting.
Speaker:It's not the right word.
Speaker:Um, paradigm shifting experience.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:I mean, I've come here except for last year, every year, 15 years, I actually
Speaker:feel that I felt a yearning for my.
Speaker:My whole wellbeing.
Speaker:So it was a window, which I guess I have to bronze.
Speaker:It was a window, which I could gauge the UK, UK, because I went there.
Speaker:I went there to get into India.
Speaker:Fortunately, all the slots lined up and I succeeded whether I'll get back again.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:It's funny.
Speaker:And it's been on my mind and.
Speaker:I've been reading a lot over the last few weeks.
Speaker:And the book I'm reading at the moment is based in India as well.
Speaker:So that was which tastes of ginger.
Speaker:And it's called.
Speaker:That sounds good.
Speaker:I'm always interested.
Speaker:I like to read to that.
Speaker:And so I probably read like by NGO or.
Speaker:I read them to learn as well as enjoy the story, to learn about culture,
Speaker:taste ginger and I'm reading books.
Speaker:What I never used to read, or I'm not used to listen to audio books,
Speaker:they just didn't appeal to me.
Speaker:But sit still one of my own.
Speaker:I've been curious about how other people do it because it was a real learning.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And so I've actually been lovely, actually listening to audio books.
Speaker:I listen to a lot.
Speaker:I used to listen to a lot in the car, so I shall download yours today.
Speaker:So I'll be, I'll be really value your feedback.
Speaker:Oh yeah, definitely.
Speaker:You've got perfect voice for it.
Speaker:And I'm assuming already that it's going to be excellent.
Speaker:What's interesting about the voice y'all haven't.
Speaker:I said that's two group recently, um, attack kind of thing.
Speaker:I've taken my voice for granted.
Speaker:Um, and of course, since doing the audio book have quite a bit of feedback and
Speaker:I was in a taxi in London, restate.
Speaker:I was talking to the taxi driver.
Speaker:When I got out, he said, he said, you've got a great voice.
Speaker:And like, you know, it was kind of a, oh, he said the best reset.
Speaker:It's like, you're like, that's fantastic.
Speaker:So she's got a very interesting voice,
Speaker:but they also said when I was recording the book, Like some
Speaker:people's boys gets kind of tired.
Speaker:I mean, my voice is probate, but gets tired because of the way they speak.
Speaker:I did wonder about that.
Speaker:I did six days recording that book and I, my voice didn't bait.
Speaker:And they said it's because of the tone, my voice.
Speaker:And so that was quite interesting because I was expecting, because if I'm talking
Speaker:to groups, sometimes I think then I raise my voice in a, not a very efficient way.
Speaker:And I do kind of find my voice gets tired, but the audio didn't,
Speaker:which was, which was a bonus.
Speaker:I know one thing that you do take notice off his language.
Speaker:Um, could you.
Speaker:Explain a little bit about that.
Speaker:And maybe in the current times, how language is affecting perspective
Speaker:and shaping where we are.
Speaker:Gosh, but it totally just generally doesn't speak most
Speaker:significant at the moment.
Speaker:So I do believe that and what we think and the way we speak shapes our experience,
Speaker:it shapes the way we respond to that.
Speaker:And I think this is such a temptation to think things and problems,
Speaker:um, as opposed to looking at the price, if I take an example, which
Speaker:is connected to the pandemic, but it's not the, the real of it.
Speaker:The fact is I am in grunting and how many people have assumed.
Speaker:I must be finding that difficult and I must be fine on that.
Speaker:And I wouldn't know what to do.
Speaker:It's interesting.
Speaker:What assumptions or presuppositions people about situations and
Speaker:therefore about themselves.
Speaker:So they expect, I think the balance is for people to expect not good
Speaker:worst in all the situations.
Speaker:I mean, Really enjoying crunchy.
Speaker:Um, I like the self dominion, GSE, and never alone in India, but the facts,
Speaker:the gates can stay closed, Mike and gets on with things, peaceful climate.
Speaker:I know that's not good for everybody or horrible hotel expenses, but it's like
Speaker:if we expect things to be not okay.
Speaker:Expect.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And it's astonishing to me to settle on television.
Speaker:They they're just shocking.
Speaker:The very simple things like, um, the last time I was in UK, they said, you
Speaker:know, well, once people make it, so the use of these were just disgraceful,
Speaker:but people in those positions.
Speaker:Of the impact of what they're saying, it's dangerous, but
Speaker:they're saying at times, yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I mean, I can relate a little bit because I spent Christmas day on my own.
Speaker:And when I do that, I look at it as a spar day opportunity, but
Speaker:I've got all of my friends saying, oh, are you going to be arrived?
Speaker:You know, is a major thing, but yeah.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:But you assigned to spec.
Speaker:Well, in fact, my son organized for me.
Speaker:One of his friends to call the opening background.
Speaker:It's like, so, you know, soon as he had mates, I was leaving the next
Speaker:day, early in the morning, so I was prepared and it wasn't lovely time.
Speaker:I spent with his friends before lunch.
Speaker:Um, but yeah, interesting assumption that you must be with people find big and
Speaker:where it was Christmas day, to be honest.
Speaker:So in India, you have a new training that you're doing online, that you've
Speaker:just written the newsletter about.
Speaker:Can you tell us a bit about that?
Speaker:Um, we already had shed jeweled and in person program, like an eight day
Speaker:intensive, typically for people who might come into a scholarship that must've
Speaker:practitioner training the training.
Speaker:Um, so we already have those.
Speaker:And then we're getting people saying concerns about chocolate.
Speaker:So, um, and so we thought about making this a hybrid and then we thought,
Speaker:well, why don't we do some special, you know, something specific, um, online
Speaker:priority, if anybody wants to come to camp, but we've never actually made
Speaker:it the second one, but three days.
Speaker:Just an online program.
Speaker:And I was inspired by listening to some of the
Speaker:by the comedy comedian talking about his identity.
Speaker:And I was so inspired by his words and his way of living and how it,
Speaker:he lipsticks it in all circumstance.
Speaker:And I was thinking, yeah, this is, this is the opportunity because people are going
Speaker:when I lost them and making decisions because they have to, or they want to
Speaker:about their lives because of the back.
Speaker:And here's an opportunity to help them crystallize that.
Speaker:So if he's reading that I have thinking, oh yeah.
Speaker:And how, what unique words you'd use it, know his book.
Speaker:He describes himself as, um, windswept and interesting.
Speaker:I'm like, look, you keep use a lot of really don't words
Speaker:to describe things in life.
Speaker:And I think it's a time to be exotic, to be unique words, to fire your imagination.
Speaker:When you're thinking about yourself going forward in the future.
Speaker:I mean, how else do you get to live an exciting life that
Speaker:presupposes people want to live?
Speaker:The next slide?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I love that.
Speaker:I love the bit about eye density.
Speaker:And as you say, assess, think this has been an opportunity for people to
Speaker:really reflect on who they truly are.
Speaker:Um, yes, sometimes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Sometimes we can put in, in the corner, if you like gets you to question
Speaker:everything, these people working at home for many people, it's, you know,
Speaker:they, some people have not liked it, but I've had the last piece of.
Speaker:Yeah, and I have loved working on zoom.
Speaker:Do I go to the last thing?
Speaker:Let me find that tricky.
Speaker:You know, I think it's wonderful now.
Speaker:I don't have to make people coffee anymore.
Speaker:It's wonderful because flexibility of being able to bring in guests and people
Speaker:can just join and they haven't got ethics.
Speaker:So, um, I think a lot of people have been forced in a way to discover
Speaker:what they do and they don't mind and many have made decisions.
Speaker:So I think on that basis, they don't go back to that or it can't go back to that.
Speaker:So we're going to do instead of, so have you come up with a phrase
Speaker:to describe your items city?
Speaker:Not really yet.
Speaker:Um, I mean, so I'm a work in progress, which is the ideal,
Speaker:but program like that, cause I'm working on myself at the same time.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Um, I don't necessarily want to graze.
Speaker:I, I, um, have got very strong thoughts about how I am and how
Speaker:I wanted to keep developing.
Speaker:Um, and so that example of a funny comedy gate, but for you to just, just
Speaker:say what you like, which is very like productive coaching, you said if he
Speaker:had given up to want to be liked to do this, that's going to get in the way,
Speaker:um, to be able to speak the truth.
Speaker:So it's not so.
Speaker:And I was also very impressed by, I like watching some reality shows.
Speaker:I mean, that's how people got to study behavior by like the monument,
Speaker:uh, strictly come dancing and, um, those ailing to affect a full name.
Speaker:But the deck lady, cause it's an actress was dancing and couldn't hear the music
Speaker:and yet she won and her whole approach.
Speaker:Which was to influence that community, to show the things were possible.
Speaker:And some of the decisions that they made about the dancing, that whole way of
Speaker:being so, um, and she had a humor on the cake it's Boone with the way she spoke
Speaker:and the way she used sign language.
Speaker:There's something about hats.
Speaker:I really, I thought.
Speaker:I don't have that kind of purity, but I'd love to aspire to that.
Speaker:So there are people who particularly recently come into my experience by
Speaker:the director, Linda, which is all about modeling excellence, you know, the people.
Speaker:Um, so I'm on definitely.
Speaker:Yeah, I've got very strong thoughts about that without necessarily having overall
Speaker:label, which is always a good thing.
Speaker:Anyway, just talking about NLP.
Speaker:I know that we are having worked with a couple of schools of NLP.
Speaker:What I really love about.
Speaker:You and your relationship to NLP is it is experiential.
Speaker:It is living.
Speaker:It is, um, reading every situation really, and, and, you know, being aware.
Speaker:Um, do you want to expand on that, on, on your philosophy around, um, you're
Speaker:modeling the term modeling, which is it.
Speaker:I think under a misunderstanding about what
Speaker:dress that is a process of stitching, particularly excellence may not make
Speaker:sense to some people structure it, presupposes that we kind of coat
Speaker:with the structure, understand the structure of an experience, particularly
Speaker:exclusively studying how people.
Speaker:Sabotage themselves, for example, know how you're doing that.
Speaker:You have a choice, right?
Speaker:Um, but particularly accents, that's the home study except the
Speaker:excellence within yourself, which often goes unrecognized people.
Speaker:But I think the consequences of doing that over the years is that I notice
Speaker:that in other people much more than I ever have done, I would never.
Speaker:The structure of excellence and people
Speaker:just coming in here.
Speaker:The guy who used to drive me around a lot in India, came to pick me up at
Speaker:the apple, even though he hasn't got his car on the road, because he hasn't
Speaker:been able to have some tough business, he hasn't been able to afford this.
Speaker:And yet he found a way to get to them without telling
Speaker:me I was thinking you much.
Speaker:And some people could say, could you pick me up for that?
Speaker:I would say Obregon, sorry, su.com anymore.
Speaker:You know, so you don't have to contact the taxi.
Speaker:And he didn't.
Speaker:And I thought that dedication,
Speaker:same with the guy who is the owner of the place, where I'm staying.
Speaker:No, he brings me breakfast and breakfast.
Speaker:He goes to a place that I love, but it's some distance away.
Speaker:I love the breakfast and his attention to taking care of me is outstanding.
Speaker:Um, when you think of places who would just do a kind of good job,
Speaker:but these are people who are doing even in difficult circumstances.
Speaker:Outstanding thing really unsettling.
Speaker:I mean, they're not difficult to notice.
Speaker:Um, I don't think, but I think I, I notice that people in a way I
Speaker:never would have done and I think I probably took a lot more things
Speaker:for granted, even look for that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's fascinating.
Speaker:I find that it's one of the things for me over the last few years with being
Speaker:pretty remote and on my own, it's the only person I get to critique myself,
Speaker:which is not always a good thing.
Speaker:Rather than critique yourself, you could celebrate I'm learning.
Speaker:I have changed it around.
Speaker:And what I was going to say was, I think that might be a challenge for a lot
Speaker:of people who suddenly find themselves in more of an isolated situation.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I think you do come face to face with yourself and your patterns.
Speaker:Some of the external in, I mean, there are external influences, obviously
Speaker:the circumstances, but you're more spending time with self it's.
Speaker:Like, what do you do with yourself?
Speaker:And that's where those choices come in as well.
Speaker:Is that how you frame and your perspective on that?
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:And I've, I've used that term frame and reframe a lot, you know,
Speaker:My experience being warranty of on different social media sites.
Speaker:And people said that reframe as it's a reframing quarantine
Speaker:in different situations can be.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Um, so yeah, you know, these things are so possible when we realize.
Speaker:That you can't change circumstances.
Speaker:We influence.
Speaker:We can change the way we think about therefore we'll change our experience.
Speaker:It was a possibility coming to India.
Speaker:Cause some of those very interesting somebody who can, um, who I know
Speaker:well said, well, you know, we're hearing that some people being
Speaker:refused entry, but that'd be great when it's a fly all the way to.
Speaker:And then be told you can't come in and I was prepared for that,
Speaker:but, well, how do I bring this?
Speaker:This happens, but it was very interesting because I did say to
Speaker:this person, well, some people are being met, but some people are not.
Speaker:So it's yeah, it's kind of hit and miss.
Speaker:So I'm hearing stories about things.
Speaker:Well, I'd like to hear the stories about the people who do get
Speaker:seen, and what's the difference.
Speaker:So it's not for me as an NLP approach.
Speaker:You want to know that you want to know what works and you want to
Speaker:say, what's the difference between the baths and the rats rather than
Speaker:have, you know, potentially worrying me by saying we're hearing stories.
Speaker:She could have said, well, you know, that's what I was going to tell me.
Speaker:Those could use exceeded.
Speaker:And what contributed to that?
Speaker:Um, That's not what she did.
Speaker:It's funny.
Speaker:I remember when I was coming to India to, to see you.
Speaker:Um, I was due to arrive on the 1st of January and I traveled to Manchester
Speaker:to get my visa on the 23rd of December.
Speaker:So it was the first chance I had, because I'd been out of the country before that.
Speaker:Um, I turned up on the day and similar to you, I was listening to all of the people
Speaker:in front of me being told that there was no chance that they would get their
Speaker:visa with, you know, within two weeks.
Speaker:Um, but I wasted anyway.
Speaker:And when I went to the desk, instead of saying, no, I really
Speaker:need to, you know, can you do it?
Speaker:I just said, is it worth me applying?
Speaker:Oh, yes.
Speaker:We'll expedite that.
Speaker:We'll put it in an envelope and get assigned.
Speaker:And it was, it was just because I hadn't assumed or demanded or,
Speaker:you know, had the perspective that it was my right to be there.
Speaker:And I just asked, well, as it was applying, um, it was a different
Speaker:attitude and a different response.
Speaker:I mean, it it's ingesting by listening to people, phones and things being demanding.
Speaker:Challenging the lights.
Speaker:What?
Speaker:Show them building any rapport.
Speaker:If I same for me with the bees, because potentially I could have got an Ebenezer.
Speaker:Um, but the, um, Indian embassy stopped issuing them.
Speaker:So I went well have usual one in the passport, which had been being
Speaker:issued in about three or four days.
Speaker:Then when I went to buy it, they said it's two weeks after 15 days.
Speaker:And that was beyond the time.
Speaker:Like, so yeah.
Speaker:So I have thought so I, I moved my flights.
Speaker:Um, so I have the time to get the reason that it was.
Speaker:And then I said, look, well, you know, whatever happens, I have an agency evil
Speaker:and they said, we'll do what we can to get through within about four days back again,
Speaker:that's NLP flexibility.
Speaker:It's being able to, I'd say it's being able to accept and deal with.
Speaker:Yeah, because getting into a state, doesn't tell you anybody.
Speaker:So how to manage state to be in balance, whatever happens.
Speaker:And I'm not saying I'm not, but I sat down not much, much more
Speaker:than myself to my youngest son.
Speaker:Very different.
Speaker:And it's so impulsive now with everything changing minute by minute,
Speaker:um, and lots of different ways.
Speaker:And it's, it's important for health and stress levels.
Speaker:All the many problems helpline.
Speaker:So how to do that, it's not new.
Speaker:Some people might say, oh, pull yourself together.
Speaker:You're white, but that's not enough.
Speaker:I nameless to that.
Speaker:Have to do them.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I'm making that and being aware enough to have that
Speaker:choice in that moment to do yes.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's somebody else that I used to train, but mostly the students say
Speaker:you can, you know what you're doing?
Speaker:You can do it.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's very deep.
Speaker:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:I'm definitely learning more about how I do things being on my own so much.
Speaker:And when it's what works and what doesn't.
Speaker:So yes, once you know that.
Speaker:Yeah, you will default typically to what works and you've got
Speaker:contrast clear, specific conscience.
Speaker:Usually then default to that word that she really wants to mess yourself up.
Speaker:And you can do that with excellence.
Speaker:I've done that.
Speaker:Um, just moving on to.
Speaker:Three-day training.
Speaker:Cause I'm really curious.
Speaker:Cause, um, it's, it's about identity.
Speaker:It's about, it's about being self.
Speaker:That's the kind of unique self that's really connected with all that,
Speaker:without the fact agent and limit, that was going to be my question.
Speaker:Is that what it was?
Speaker:No, no, no, that's fine.
Speaker:Is it really about, truly about being who you are them?
Speaker:So, I mean, you could say, you know, we are who we are as well, but it's
Speaker:like, there was, there was a bad.
Speaker:Which is developed, which develops and grows as well on which
Speaker:we can be from time to time.
Speaker:And maybe sometimes not as often as we were, which, and it's, how do we be that?
Speaker:How do we discover how that is maintain and be that and live, live that way.
Speaker:So rather than, so it is about letting go of Backpage and.
Speaker:Limiting ways of thinking speaking behavior so that we can be ourselves,
Speaker:which is the most theoretically it's easiest way to be there.
Speaker:Isn't the choice that people seem to find.
Speaker:But it's the most successful way to be
Speaker:personally, I found a struggle with being myself because there's been a demand
Speaker:to be who other people expect me to be.
Speaker:So obviously being on my own, but that's dropped away.
Speaker:So that's been really nice.
Speaker:And by myself there often is.
Speaker:What other people want us to be, that should do something.
Speaker:Um, and we do have a choice in how we take on those ships take off,
Speaker:you know, what's really important.
Speaker:So it's that shift from being dependent on other people that they find.
Speaker:I mean, I find it interesting.
Speaker:Well, the rules have changed and what we're supposed to do now.
Speaker:Well, do what you think is saying, it's like, why wait some idiot in power.
Speaker:Now we see the new, different stage of the rulings that come in
Speaker:UK and the lack of adherence to those rulings, they themselves.
Speaker:And so why do people complain about that?
Speaker:And just instead of.
Speaker:Well, I know what I need to do to keep myself safe.
Speaker:Um, if there was an underlying positive for me about all of this, is that call
Speaker:back to pure responsibility for yourself?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:I just think, well, why wait?
Speaker:I mean, that's a strong cut.
Speaker:I think even when we were thinking about this program, I hope he doesn't mind
Speaker:me saying, but you know, my colleague says, what should we ask people?
Speaker:What they want myself so that, you know,
Speaker:because people don't know what they don't know what they need do.
Speaker:What is important to us.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:If you take the economy such a, has been such a wild, you know,
Speaker:extreme character's appearance and it's, it's a whole way of behaving.
Speaker:And people love him for who he is and there's people who don't, but
Speaker:people are John's for who he is not for what he thinks he should be.
Speaker:He doesn't go out and ask people what they want in checks.
Speaker:He just accepted.
Speaker:So that's the key, you know, it's the field, um, the film, you build a field
Speaker:and they will come, you know, wait for them to come in and build the field.
Speaker:That's the whole thing about the women's cricket.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Great space.
Speaker:And then the people who are drawn to what you represent and the
Speaker:moral connected you are with that more likely more than income.
Speaker:It's not the other way around.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I, I can completely relate to that in terms of getting my online business,
Speaker:because I know that the, the, the big failure on my path is to.
Speaker:Choose a space, choose a niche, choose an audience, choose what I want to teach.
Speaker:And I spent too much time asking and trying to look at the feedback
Speaker:to see where the audiences and
Speaker:that you, you put yourself in a total, you know, sort of bind that
Speaker:because they're going to have to have different views what you're going to do.
Speaker:You know, some people will think that use all fake.
Speaker:Just do what you want cheesy.
Speaker:And it's taken me.
Speaker:That's, you know, the, the podcast is what I want.
Speaker:Um, it's not got a huge audience that's getting there and the, the
Speaker:more I do it, the more I open up.
Speaker:So it's a constant learning for me about being, if you take your mind
Speaker:off, what size is the audience?
Speaker:Um, and you just do what you love and you did.
Speaker:I enjoy that.
Speaker:And it was that for me then the other things where if it's appropriate,
Speaker:we'll come with us everywhere is if you've, well, I've got to get
Speaker:so many people on the program or have to have a sizable audience.
Speaker:I have to have this many followers.
Speaker:It's the wrong place.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's the.
Speaker:Backfires on itself.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I haven't been doing that at all.
Speaker:I've just been producing what I felt was important to say at the time.
Speaker:So you feel good?
Speaker:You feel good about
Speaker:that?
Speaker:Rose in the dancing strictly come down.
Speaker:I don't, it's not important to me when I went, um, I want to know that I'm
Speaker:being an example of deaf, deaf people in the world to show that my conducts
Speaker:knew about being able to hear the music that you can do anything basically shit.
Speaker:And she was saying this when she reached to finals and she said, I'm achieving,
Speaker:you know, it's not about winning this.
Speaker:And then she did go on.
Speaker:Um, so that's what we have to gain.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker:What, and one of the things I'm learning about the podcast is
Speaker:that I love interviewing yet.
Speaker:I've resisted doing that on the advice of other people.
Speaker:Who've said this too many interfering podcasts out there and
Speaker:I'm thinking, well, actually I love that the most I enjoy it the most.
Speaker:So it's something I'm doing more of this yet.
Speaker:You'll have a unique way of doing it.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:I mean, you are you're me.
Speaker:And you're interfering me on the basis of knowing me and spent time with me
Speaker:because most people do interviews.
Speaker:Now I haven't gone to buckets.
Speaker:I've had some dreadful ones.
Speaker:Let's see.
Speaker:Why are you asking me this question?
Speaker:Where's your coming from a very nice.
Speaker:I'm from a place of, although we haven't spoken maybe for a
Speaker:couple of years, but we connected.
Speaker:Nevertheless, we continue to connect.
Speaker:So there's things like that make the difference.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:The audio book it's version four of NLP at work.
Speaker:What changed in this version?
Speaker:Um, the publisher.
Speaker:If I noticed the covers very different.
Speaker:I almost a discussion about maintaining my style, the color and the birds.
Speaker:What changed was, was that decided time for another day.
Speaker:And I contrast this edition with, let's say the first one and the second one.
Speaker:Um, it's like my training.
Speaker:I, it comes from a very personal base and I've used more examples
Speaker:with my own personal, like my own situation in this one than ever before.
Speaker:Um, you know, I've talked about things I think, uh, in terms of my experience.
Speaker:So I would say that's the biggest difference.
Speaker:Um, there isn't, there is a chapter in the things and some of the chapters,
Speaker:but it's the same cool book, but it's.
Speaker:A lot, I'd say the third and the fourth edition.
Speaker:There's a lot of similarities, opposites, same extra chapter in the fourth
Speaker:edition and different case studies.
Speaker:And then each chapter that's got some refine things that I've learned
Speaker:from, I would say differently.
Speaker:Um, Um, there was some things I didn't really like because of this, the new rules
Speaker:of committed folks and very last minute.
Speaker:Can you take the quotes out?
Speaker:That's a pretty fundamental
Speaker:quotes of people who were dead long enough to be able to use that word, because if
Speaker:it would take too long to get permissions.
Speaker:So there were a few things that weren't ideal.
Speaker:Um, I used a lot more room in quotes because it's debt.
Speaker:I love these quotes, but I think I balanced it out with a few of them.
Speaker:Different ones.
Speaker:So, are you planning any more books this year?
Speaker:Um, I it's very interesting having done deal here.
Speaker:It was a big lie.
Speaker:Let's do them normally with those kinds of books they often get, or
Speaker:they have had professional read it.
Speaker:I've been asked a lot of times to myself and I don't know whether you do that.
Speaker:It's very different.
Speaker:Have to read something to say, be able to say something as you're reading
Speaker:it correctly and totally clearly, um, that it really took a couple of
Speaker:chapters to learn how to do that.
Speaker:Um, cause you can't make a mistake.
Speaker:Do the go button.
Speaker:That's going to add a lot to the time that you keep doing.
Speaker:To say the words clearly enough that anybody in any culture who
Speaker:understands English can understand it.
Speaker:And she's, I think about doing the one word that I slurred or the one
Speaker:bit that I would slap more things and I'll be, I go out because I say it
Speaker:so often that I'll be nigga and LP.
Speaker:So if you listen to the book and LP is the study of experience.
Speaker:So, so having done.
Speaker:Um, I'm the parts of the book I got this, I didn't buy that
Speaker:with the idea of new reading.
Speaker:It's the future.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:There's things that bullet points.
Speaker:So they don't lend themselves to being with story.
Speaker:Do I discovered this?
Speaker:I really enjoy reading, telling stories and really enjoyed it.
Speaker:And so I thought that would influence the style of another book.
Speaker:Um, the one book, I suppose, I've kind of.
Speaker:I feel like, oh, it's parity to voice back to coaching therapy.
Speaker:There's not many books on that.
Speaker:Very old, very interesting book.
Speaker:Um, and it's had such an influence on my life, my way of work.
Speaker:And I've started it before and it's, it's quite a, quite a chunk.
Speaker:That's the wall.
Speaker:I think that I would point that was also inspired by Billy
Speaker:comedy talking about his life.
Speaker:I did start recording some episodes, my own life, been there when the
Speaker:Beatles first formed in the bull.
Speaker:For example, your time in the Catholic, you know, there was some really key
Speaker:times and tea and I thought, Hmm.
Speaker:I specifically thinks about that, whether that's interested now,
Speaker:I think, um, thinking about your life and what I know of you, what
Speaker:I would be interested in is how.
Speaker:You've evolved on your journey with NLP as well.
Speaker:So how'd that the parallel between your learning and on your own life as
Speaker:well and how they've both influenced
Speaker:because they have, I do often think back to those teenage times.
Speaker:Crikey, you know, I have to control basically most of the time, um, um,
Speaker:got not a good time, but I think I probably have the best of all worlds.
Speaker:I have a good time.
Speaker:Can you have a good time if you're studying people's lives?
Speaker:Well, yes, absolutely.
Speaker:You know, It just brings the challenge.
Speaker:Isn't it, especially with the provocative, which is about
Speaker:having the state of amusement.
Speaker:It's very freeing.
Speaker:So, um,
Speaker:can you say a little bit more about provocative for people
Speaker:who aren't aware of provocative?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Um,
Speaker:Vocative it's like, it's like when you friends, if you with a very good
Speaker:friend, um, and instead of reassuring them, you think would be okay, you
Speaker:sort of poke them a little bit, you know, and say, well, come on.
Speaker:You know, or to expect, um, he played the devils on the coast, the 10 foot
Speaker:buckets, it as Frankie as it was, he would describe his to provoke
Speaker:a healing response at new kind of.
Speaker:And joke and cajole the devil's up seven, get rescued in such a way
Speaker:that they find the truth themselves.
Speaker:It's saying, well, I'm not going to succeed at this.
Speaker:You go, won't show you all.
Speaker:You, that's not going to help you.
Speaker:I remember Frank one saying somebody, well, not all the seeds in a garden blue.
Speaker:Person's like, oh Joe.
Speaker:So they, they sort of pushed them to that point.
Speaker:Lots of people who are in the coaching role, I think lots of
Speaker:people, new to coaching feel that they've got to protect somebody, you
Speaker:know, that they can't push though.
Speaker:Cause they might get accomplished in the next, it might get.
Speaker:Will you put the push in that, to the edge that they find the
Speaker:truth for themselves journey.
Speaker:If you stop them before they get that.
Speaker:And so provocative the best boy I came up with together, as it's like
Speaker:drilling for oil, you keep drilling until you find where the oil is,
Speaker:because usually the, that point.
Speaker:The points that most people keep hidden because they're on aware of, I guess.
Speaker:Well, yes.
Speaker:And so having the ability to say the things that people think
Speaker:about themselves, as well as the activity, there's a lot of humor.
Speaker:It's not all humor, but there is a lot of humor to be able to laugh.
Speaker:Yeah, one thing that I want to bring more off to the podcast,
Speaker:because I do recognize that transformation occurs in humor as well.
Speaker:Even if transformation is what we call nominalization.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:But yeah, it's finding that thing when you can laugh at yourself
Speaker:about something, you can get that.
Speaker:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker:You could do with some healing at the moment.
Speaker:And I think that's another generalization presupposes.
Speaker:You're not getting it.
Speaker:I'm getting it.
Speaker:I am having, especially, especially here at India view, um, for me, I
Speaker:experienced it as a very healing place in terms of culture, bitchiness and food.
Speaker:Yogurt.
Speaker:Will you be doing the yoga on the beach?
Speaker:That's the question?
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Actually, we, we can, we will be, I've been doing yoga outside and
Speaker:God my, because I call it meeting in person with my teacher online.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So watching the dog while doing yoga.
Speaker:Excellent.
Speaker:If you had one piece of wisdom to share for people who maybe are struggling
Speaker:at this time, what would that be?
Speaker:Hm.
Speaker:I would say, think of someone who's handling situations in the way that
Speaker:you would wish to pay, identify some, either somebody that you can
Speaker:connect or reconnect with somebody in your past, what would they do?
Speaker:How would they.
Speaker:And stepped into that shoes.
Speaker:It might be you and
Speaker:you, you, you do, and you wouldn't be able to think about it.
Speaker:Sometimes people find it easier to recognize in others.
Speaker:So like, who's your, you know, whether they are.
Speaker:But they can be actually meant so that you put yourself in.
Speaker:When I first went independent, um, and I was really challenging
Speaker:groups in engineering companies.
Speaker:And so I do work with this consultant, Charles.
Speaker:I know he could handle these situations.
Speaker:I go, what would Charles do?
Speaker:And I studied with Gina, so I got to go or GG.
Speaker:I would, frankly.
Speaker:So I have those people who are resources on their pots, me, like I
Speaker:step into their shoes and I take on some of their way of being, which
Speaker:breeds it, frees those things up.
Speaker:And my son that's really powerful.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:Well, thank you for the chat today.
Speaker:It's been a pleasure connecting and catching up.
Speaker:Yes, it has been.
Speaker:Thank you for your gentle and yet, um, insightful incisive questions.
Speaker:I hope we can do it again soon and good luck with the training and with all of the
Speaker:experience of India, I'm quite jealous.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Well, I'll share as much I share it.
Speaker:I think I'm dissing people with my texts.
Speaker:So to where can people connect with you?
Speaker:I know you're on LinkedIn and Facebook.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Um, and then there's my own, but YouTube and Instagram, um,
Speaker:they put sunitinib and all.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:My website is, um, Sue night.com and then it's links to all those other things.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:I'll put all of the links in the show notes available in UK, on audible, but not
Speaker:all parts as well, but it's all the sites like Google play and, um, apple as well.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:well, thank you.
Speaker:Thank you very much.
Speaker:Take care and hope to speak to you again, sleep excellent.
