Episode 32 - Doing Your Best

Doing your Best

Heather: [: 00:00:00

And the big lesson that I've learned from having the fundamental belief of always doing my best. I'm Heather Masters and.

elcome to the choosing happy [: 00:01:00

after over a 12 months break.

I paused. Because I felt I didn't have enough to give. That my best wasn't really good enough for the podcast. So it was running out of ideas. On how to serve and what was really tripling people.

This morning in my meditation.

I was taken back to an event. Which is almost 20 years to the day. Of being made redundant unexpectedly.

years for [: 00:02:00

I was doing really, really well in this job. I was breaking records. My team was breaking records. My team were working really well. We were excelling. In everything that we did. So it was a bit of a shock to suddenly. Be made redundant. Out of the blue unexpectedly. I was giving it all. I had, uh, you know, 120% to really reach the targets and get the results that were expected of us.

And that shattered a fundamental belief I'd had since childhood. That fundamental belief was that if I did my best. Everything would be okay. All I had to do was show up in the world and do my best.

bout this morning. Is that I [: 00:03:00

And it's only this morning the penny dropped.

there's a bit of both. There [: 00:04:00

more than what was required by the other person. And that's fair enough. They got more than they bargained for if you like. And it's been able to recognize when you're doing that. I've been blindly doing my best. And not really always assessing the situation. The. The balance, the relationship, the consequences of what that best looks like.

he results for that project. [: 00:05:00

And, that's been too much of a threat for other people.

Sometimes, being good and giving it all, can be seen as a threat. For me, it was nothing to do with ego. It might have a lot to do with worth, but it was never about competition. It was always about me, doing my best, because that was that fundamental belief that drives me. There's been a massive conflict though over the 20 years, because I've recognized that doing my best.

As I said it doesn't always get me the results. In fact, it's been rejected so many times.

tuation and asking the right [: 00:06:00

I cared for my mum. For. Four. Yes. And in the end, my best wasn't good enough. It was a two person situation. No matter what I did. I knew it wouldn't be enough to keep her comfortable.

table. But there was nothing [: 00:07:00

At that moment in time.

And I. Beat myself up about not being able to do more. But it was physically impossible for me to do more. I was doing my best.

And it's certainly the smaller thing I'm stacking, stepping back and acknowledging there are those times where you feel your best isn't good enough, but if I hadn't have given it my all anyway, what would have been the result and how would have I felt about not doing it anyway.

questions, that I should ask [: 00:08:00

One of the interesting things I've noticed is I haven't given my best to my own business. And I think that's partly because it's easier to just not do anything, than to fail at doing what I really want to do.

To find out my best. Isn't good enough. For the work I really love.

So I'm hoping some of this resonates. That may be, there've been times in your life where you've given your all, and either it's been thrown back at you, it hasn't been enough, it hasn't gotten you the results that you were expecting.

Is that if I do my best, the [: 00:09:00

I'm giving what I believe in that moment to be, to be doing the right thing.

to process it, whether they [: 00:10:00

Whether they process it as what it's meant to be; help, contribution, serving.

I work in it and I freelance sometimes. And in the last project I did I promised to meet a deadline. So I went 150% overboard to meet that deadline. I did all the hours that it took to get the deadline met. What I hadn't negotiated is that I would do paid for those extra hours. So that was another lesson.

the way of checking that the [: 00:11:00

Heather: I was willing to accept the consequences, because I hadn't negotiated up front.

So my big lesson from all of this, is about assessing upfront, before I throw myself 150% into a project.

, The consequence was that I [: 00:12:00

HeatherV:

12 to 13

Heather: hour days. By the end of three months, I literally had to take a month off because I was so mentally exhausted.

So asking consequences, checking whether it's worth it. Checking whether the rewards or the result is worth it.

y don't want the extra icing [: 00:13:00

They might be allergic to it.

I've really learned that doing your best, isn't about just widely going in and doing what you think is the best thing at the time. Doing your best involves a lot of awareness. Assessments. Understanding. Looking at the relationships. Beginning with the end in mind and understanding the consequences of that end. And how it effects all of the stakeholders and the parties involved.

ve seen the results and I've [: 00:14:00

I also acknowledge that sometimes my best is too good, and that pulling back a little could be what's required.

What I have come up with is a list of questions to ask. So before I go into any situation, what does my best look like in this particular situation? Am I overcompensating for something? Am I delivering what's required? Am I over-delivering in a detrimental way? Am I being fully compensated for the work that I'm doing?

realistic? Is there a clear [: 00:15:00

And does that matter? What is the impact and consequence of doing my best with regards to this situation and project?

ose to throw myself into it. [: 00:16:00

Just remember that great service can be destroyed by over enthusiasm. Thank you for joining me on my podcast today. I hope some of this resonates and you know, for me, this has been a profound lesson. and I hope that it helps someone out there today.

I'm Heather Masters and this is the Choosing Happy Podcast.