Wednesday Wisdom: Are Your Stories Costing You Happiness?
Alright, folks!
Buckle up because today, we’re diving into the wild world of the invisible stories that run our lives, and trust me, they can get a little wacky!
I’m talking about those assumptions we cling to like a child to a teddy bear, thinking they’re keeping us safe when really, they’re just holding us back.
Remember that time I dressed like I was about to conquer Mount Everest, only to step outside and melt faster than an ice cream cone on a summer day?
Yeah, that’s a perfect metaphor for how we overthink our decisions!
Today, I’m sharing some honest-to-goodness wisdom about how these pesky little narratives are costing us not just our sanity but also opportunities galore.
So, grab your favourite beverage and let’s unravel these tales together—because the world needs your brilliance, and it’s time to break free from those self-imposed chains!
The Details:
In a world where our brains are busy crafting elaborate tales about why we can’t do something, it’s time to flip the script!
This Wednesday on the Choosing Happy Podcast, I took a hilarious yet enlightening trip down memory lane, well - yesterday, sharing the tale of my ill-fated dog walk that turned into a life lesson.
We often get trapped in our own narratives, believing that our assumptions are facts.
But guess what? They’re just stories! And like bad sitcoms, they need to be cancelled!
From thinking that following up is annoying to believing our pricing is too high for clients, we’re unravelling these myths like a ball of yarn tangled in a cat’s paws.
Join me as I challenge you to audit your stories and take a leap of faith into evidence-based decision-making. Because let’s be real, the only drama we need in our lives is the one on Netflix!
Takeaways:
- Our internal stories often lead us to make assumptions that limit our potential, just like my dog walk saga!
- Don't let your mental narratives dictate your reality; test your assumptions and see what happens!
- Every assumption you haven't tested is a decision you're making on behalf of others—let them decide!
- Reality rarely matches our dramatic imaginations, so take action instead of getting stuck in your head!
- Challenge yourself to a little 'story audit' and find out which beliefs are holding you back from greatness!
- The world is waiting for what you have to offer, so stop hiding behind those old, untested stories!
Chapters:
- 00:01 - Introduction to Wednesday Wisdom
- 02:22 - The Invisible Stories That Shape Our Lives
- 06:03 - The Story Audit: Overcoming Assumptions
- 08:07 - Challenging Assumptions: A 24-Hour Experiment
- 10:00 - Challenging Your Assumptions
Where you can find out more:
Join my Sunday Newsletter where we're redefining what it means to thrive without the fluff: Sunday Newsletter
Tired of the same patterns keeping you stuck?
Check out the Pattern Breaker Coaching Program: www.choosinghappy.co.uk/pattern-breaker
Want to dive deeper? Drop me an email: heather@heathervmasters.com
Join the conversation: Community | Buy me a coffee
If you would like to support the podcast you can drop a donation here:
Stop getting ready to get ready, and just... start.
Transcript
Hello and welcome to the first Wednesday Wisdom on the Choosing Happy Podcast.
Speaker A:This is the first week of our new format, and I hope you enjoy today's quick story on the Choosing Happy Podcast, Foreign Masters.
Speaker A:And welcome to your first ever Wednesday Wisdom.
Speaker A:Now, let me get started straight away with a confession that'll probably make you feel better about some of your questionable life choices.
Speaker A:Now, yesterday morning, I took the dogs out for a walk.
Speaker A:It was about 10 degrees and I'm all wrapped up.
Speaker A:I even had layers on.
Speaker A:I even had a vest on because it was cooler than I'd expected.
Speaker A:So I'm out with my dogs.
Speaker A:And then I work for a few hours and it gets to 2pm and I get ready for another dog walk.
Speaker A:So I look outside the window and it's a bit overcast, so I naturally layer up like I'm about to trek across the Arctic.
Speaker A:Really?
Speaker A:Autumn clothes, jumper, jacket, the works, the vest on underneath.
Speaker A:And I step outside into the garden, and it's just 27 degrees and I'm stood there sweating like a contestant on the game show.
Speaker A:And the dogs are both looking at me like I've lost the plot, Like, I'm not going out on this heat.
Speaker A:Ma', am.
Speaker A:The walk, well, it didn't happen.
Speaker A:It was too hot.
Speaker A:Too hot for the dogs.
Speaker A:They just lay on the lawn.
Speaker A:I was too overdressed and too frustrated with myself to actually bother.
Speaker A:And I had so much to do.
Speaker A:I knew it would be early evening before I could really get out.
Speaker A:But here's the thing.
Speaker A:As I'm peeling off the layers like an onion, it hit me.
Speaker A:This is exactly what we do in our businesses, our relationships, in fact, our entire lives.
Speaker A:We often make decisions based on the story we tell ourselves from inside our comfortable little bubble of what we know, and then wonder why reality keeps disagreeing with us.
Speaker A:So today we're talking about the invisible stories that are running your life and more importantly, what they're quietly costing you.
Speaker A:Now, let's get into this because we're all walking around with these internal narrators that have never applied for that job but somehow got promoted to chief decision maker in our brains.
Speaker A:And our brains love a good story.
Speaker A:The problem is, it's not particularly fussed about the accuracy.
Speaker A:It just wants something that feels familiar and keeps you safe.
Speaker A:So it creates these lovely little assumptions that feel like facts but are actually just, well, stories, like beliefs that don't matter anymore.
Speaker A:And in business, these stories are so expensive.
Speaker A:Believing that following up is pushy, so you never follow up and.
Speaker A:And that potential client thinks You've lost interest in working with them, believing that when you're trying to put sales together that they can't afford my prices.
Speaker A:So you undercharge and struggle while you're denying your clients the basic courtesy of letting them decide for themselves what they can and can't afford.
Speaker A:It's a bit rude, really.
Speaker A:Cold outreach doesn't work in my industry.
Speaker A:Now, that's a convenient story because that's one that I love, because I hate cold outreach.
Speaker A:It's, you know, I've had bad experiences in the past, and believing that saves me and you from the discomfort of possibly being ignored whilst keeping your impact nice and small.
Speaker A:You know, there's lots of coaches out there who want to grow their business, but they don't want to do cold outreach, they don't want to do social media, they don't want to be visible.
Speaker A:And here's what I've learned after years of catching myself in these mental loops.
Speaker A:Most of the assumptions aren't protecting us from rejection.
Speaker A:They're protecting us from the possibility, the opportunity, of what could be.
Speaker A:So the real question isn't whether your assumption might be wrong, it's what is this story that you're running costing you?
Speaker A:Let me tell you about a client, a really good woman, amazing at what she does, and spent six months not launching her program because no one will want this.
Speaker A:Yet she spends six months putting in the effort, and in the meanwhile, her inbox is full of people asking for exactly what she's offering.
Speaker A:But the story in her head is so loud that she doesn't even see the evidence in her emails.
Speaker A:When she finally launched, she sold out.
Speaker A:The story wasn't protecting her, it was stealing that opportunity from her.
Speaker A:And, you know, depending on what you're offering, you could be really depriving someone of the very thing they're looking for.
Speaker A:So here's your Wednesday wisdom.
Speaker A:Every assumption you haven't tested is a decision you're making on behalf of other people.
Speaker A:So when you assume someone can't afford you, you're deciding for them.
Speaker A:When you assume following up is annoying, you're deciding what what they find annoying.
Speaker A:When you assume your idea isn't good enough, you're deciding what the world needs.
Speaker A:It's a bit presumptuous, really, isn't it?
Speaker A:And it could be called a bit selfish, because you're basing decisions on what you think rather than what people want from you.
Speaker A:So here's a practical exercise, and I'll call it the story audit.
Speaker A:If you think of something you've been avoiding.
Speaker A:If it's that follow up email, that price increase, that conversation, you keep postponing, those outreach emails that you want to send to clients who are actually in your network to cold outreach in your networks.
Speaker A:It's not like you're even, you know, people that you haven't spoken to before.
Speaker A:And then sometimes that's, those are the hardest people because you have this voice in your head with that narrative, with that assumption that they will never speak to you again if you send a, an outreach email asking them for something.
Speaker A:So anyway, grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.
Speaker A:I'll give you a second to do that.
Speaker A:Now, on the left hand side of that piece of paper, write down every story you're telling yourself about why something won't work.
Speaker A:So choose, choose a topic.
Speaker A:So if we're looking at outreach, they'll think I am desperate, it's too expensive.
Speaker A:They'll say no, I look stupid, they'll never speak to me again.
Speaker A:And then write on the right side of the paper every reason it might actually serve someone.
Speaker A:It helps them get clarity.
Speaker A:It solves their problem.
Speaker A:It respects their ability to make adult decisions.
Speaker A:It creates opportunities for connection.
Speaker A:It helps me build relationships that have gone stale, that used to be really good.
Speaker A:Put down those reasons and then read both sides out loud.
Speaker A:And then ask yourself which column is based on evidence you've gathered and which is based on stories you've inherited from the past or from somewhere else.
Speaker A:And here's the beautiful thing.
Speaker A:You don't have to believe the positive stories either.
Speaker A:You just need to test them out.
Speaker A:So here's your challenge.
Speaker A:Your 24 hour experiment is to pick one assumption that's been running your decisions.
Speaker A:Just the one.
Speaker A:It could be the smallest possible thing to gather actual data instead of relying on the story.
Speaker A:So do that smallest thing.
Speaker A:Send that follow up message.
Speaker A:Test that price point.
Speaker A:Make that offer.
Speaker A:Have that conversation you've been putting off.
Speaker A:Make that follow up email.
Speaker A:Make that follow up call.
Speaker A:Not because you're guaranteed a yes, but because you're choosing evidence over assumption.
Speaker A:And here's what usually happens.
Speaker A:The sky doesn't fall in.
Speaker A:People don't hate you.
Speaker A:Some say no, some say yes.
Speaker A:Most don't respond at all.
Speaker A:Which is exactly what happens with every decision in business.
Speaker A:But now you know.
Speaker A:Rather than just assuming, the story you tell yourself about what might happen is usually more dramatic than what actually does happen.
Speaker A:And sometimes we have extraordinary results from just putting that story to one side and taking action.
Speaker A:Reality is rarely as mean as your imagination.
Speaker A:Would have it.
Speaker A:So this week, catch yourself mid story when you hear yourself saying, well, that probably or it won't work because I can't do that because or people don't just just catch yourself, listen, pause and ask yourself, is this based on evidence or is this just a story that keeps me comfortable?
Speaker A:So is it true?
Speaker A:It might have been true in the past.
Speaker A:Do I know 100% that it's true now?
Speaker A:Then choose one tiny action that would give you real information instead of imagined certainty.
Speaker A:Your assumptions really aren't keeping you safe, they're keeping you small.
Speaker A:And the world needs what you've got too much for you to stay hidden behind stories that were never true in the first place.
Speaker A:Right then, that's your wisdom for today.
Speaker A:Go test a story, see what reality has to say about it.
Speaker A:Until Friday, Keep Choosing Happy, you magnificent human beings and Mythbusters, and I'll see you then.
Speaker A:Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this week's episode.
Speaker A:If you enjoyed it or think it would be valuable to others, please do share.
Speaker A:And if you really enjoyed it, please leave me a review.
Speaker A:It really helps the podcast.
Speaker A:All of the links are in the show notes and I look forward to seeing you next week on the Choosing Happy podcast.
Speaker A:Sam.
